The Liveliness of Being Lively

I feel so alive today! The weather is gorgeous, I feel well-rested, and I am simply enjoying life. I've been re-reading the Lord of the RIngs, so I feel as if any moment I could slip into an elven world of enchantment. Last night I was wishing that I could go walking barefoot in Lothlorien under a full moon. Oh what a grand thing life is! To breathe, to feel, to smell, to see! To smile at everyone and everything. I just want to dance! Unfortunately, I'm at work and in class all day. But in my head I'm dancing! Far away over mountains tall, I skim the surface of the seas. I flit in and out of light and shadows surround by majestic trees. I wish I were a bird to fly among the clouds and look down on this lovely land. To laugh, to dance, to fly, no, to soar! To climb, to win, to hear, to taste! Oh isn't it great to be alive!

A Trip Down Memory Lane- LWBC 2010

I've been so busy this summer, that it's been difficult to keep everyone up on the adventures I've had, so I thought I'd share a list of memories from the summer.
Learning kumcha and ninja the very first night of staff development week
The staff boat trips
The superhero themed parties during junior high weeks
An impromptu carnival to beat the rain
Coloring disney princess pictures with the girls in my cabin the very first night
Squishing all the staff members into one booth at Culvers (though we did add a small table)
Taking breaks in the office with other counselors during Voyager week 3
Girl time every Thursday
Sleeping in the air conditioned apartment every once in a while
The ME Bible study during staff development week
Dressing up in crazy costumes for the Mallards baseball game
Our day trip to Devil's Lake
Hang-outs at Leya's house
The night of Jesse and Jo's engagement
Worship nights
Watching movies with staff
Three tornado warnings and the ensuing preparations
The lice scare
Sitting at the top of the waterslide having milk and cookies while watching a lightning storm
Nuke-em
Setting off fireworks
Picnics in the park
Staff meetings
Going down the waterslide with a camper who was more relaxed then I was
Late-night conversations with the girls on staff
Walking down State Street
Going out to eat with the staff
Learning how to better do TAG and get closer to God

These are just a few of the precious moments of camp this summer.

Garden Fantasies

This afternoon I went to a botanical gardens with several friends, but spent much of the time exploring by myself. The enchanting cobblestone paths drew me into delightful corners of discovery. Giant pink flowers beckoned to me, but before reaching them I was sidetracked by a small grass path between two bushes. Following the path, I entered into a small clearing, which I named "the glen". I stumbled upon two rabbits who quickly skittered out of my way, and I gazed at the crystal wings of two dragonflies dancing on the wind. The clearing was bordered by luxurious firs and a variety of greenery. Lifting my face to the sky I spun in circles and danced with the Father. I met up with my friends for a while, and then was off again to secret enjoyments. Crossing a bridge, I saw an enchanting Thai pavilion across the river. I ran along the paths which led to it, passing several stone elephants on the way. I finally reached the red and gold pavilion and danced through it, lightly touching the intricately carved pillars. There were several pools of clear, crystal water, and I floated along on the edge of one, dancing again to my own tune. Another was so still I could clearly see my reflection in it. I found a path through the grass formed by several oblong stones, and I lightly skipped from one stone to the next until I completed the path. I continued exploring, sometimes alone sometimes with friends, and was continuously drawn down wooded paths and hidden escapes. My exploration only came to an end because of the late hour, but I think I can safely say that it was the most whimsically fun time I've ever had at a garden.

Realizations

I've grown so much at camp this summer. I realized that all the depression and feelings I had during the last school year had less to do with how other people actually treated me and more to do with how I actually perceived their treatment of me. Because I was not satisfied with myself and who I was, I thought that other people were not satisfied with me. I've been convicted of this attitude this summer. As I've come to find myself this summer, as I've given up my plans for my life at school and given in to God's, He's shown me just how much of my depression had to do with my own thoughts. I've been so closely connected to God and to people on fire for Him, that my own selfish thoughts and self-condemnation have become less and less. I still struggle with pride and low self-esteem, but because I have realized that those thoughts are completely the opposite of what is right, through God's grace I have found healing. Healing from myself. I know that there are several things I need to do when I get back to school: get connected with my mentor, become a mentor (because you learn through teaching others), become more plugged in with on fire Christians, and find more ways to serve God unselfishly. I think that perhaps giving up theater will allow me the time to do these things. I do not know what's in store, but God is working and moving in my life. I am not the same person who left Bethel this spring feeling defeated. Through God, I will conquer the feelings of unworthiness and will spring forth to do what He desires. Amen.

Continuations of the Summer

So much has happened during camp this summer, I do not even know where to begin. During the weeks we spend our time serving the campers in every way possible. It's been a challenging and humbling experience, whether I was cleaning up a slip 'n slide full of food slop or hosing down a giant inflatable Hulk. I've been involved in the worship team, I've helped run the skit and/or been in the skit, and I've worked on games, parties, banquets, etc. This past week I did not feel like I was as involved with the kids directly because I was so busy working on programming stuff. Because this was our first week of junior high camp lots of stuff had to be prepared for the first time.

On the weekends the staff just hang out. We go out to eat, watch movies, go on the speedboat, and recharge from the week. It's been a lot of fun and a great experience to hang out with such a close group. We've really become like a family, something I haven't experienced anywhere else. I truly consider every one of my fellow staffers as my brothers and sisters. I feel such a sense of belonging. I will be so sad to leave in four weeks.

I can't believe I've only been here three and a half days. It feels like I've been here for weeks, not in a bad way, but just because our days are so chock full of stuff. This week has been so much fun, seeing old friends and meeting new people. I am myself here, which is wonderfully freeing. Everyone is crazy and open with each other. We have individual devotional time, group devotionals, prayer times, etc. Everyone is so God-focused and willing to serve each other.

I am going to be playing piano in one of the camp's worship teams, which is a scary, new thing for me. I've played in front of people before, but never in something like this, and never in such a spontaneous, winging-it kind of way. I haven't played for so long, and now I'll be playing in front of campers and other staff, with very little practice time beforehand. But I'm very excited to be playing the piano and singing on a regular basis. It is also good because it's helping me to learn chords, which I should've learned a long time ago.

In short, I have been experiencing a few stretching, but wonderful experiences so far and I am so excited for this summer.

For now,
Renee

Developments

Yesterday during a Staff meeting here at Lake Waubesa Bible Camp we talked about the five love languages. For those unfamiliar with this study (as I was before last night), the five love languages (ways in which people express or receive love) are words of affirmation, quality time, gift giving, serving, and physical touch. We talked about what expressions of love work for people with each language as well as what expressions of love do not work, or are even negative, for people with each language. I found this study to be very fascinating because it told me something about myself as well as about fellow staff members. Obviously, one person is not limited to one love language, and most of us like bits and pieces of each. However, there is usually one main love language that strikes us more than others. I feel the most loved with words of affirmation and quality time. I express love through words of affirmation and physical touch.

I feel that this study is a step in the right direction of my goal for this summer: discovering myself. Recently I've felt lost; I can't tell who I am and what defines me. This summer I hope to find myself again, so to speak. So my love language(s) is the first discovery I've made. Hopefully more to come.

Peace,
Renee