God Conceals So We Can Discover

Proverbs 25:2- It is the glory of God to conceal a matter, but the glory of kings is to search out a matter.

Can you imagine if we knew everything there is to know about God, creation, and His plans for our life the moment we became saved? The Christian life would be so boring! There'd be nothing new to discover, no revelation or 'ah ha!' moment, and certainly no need to read the Bible. Sometimes I think I'd like to know everything, but then I would just be like "what's next?" and there wouldn't be a "next".

I picture God like a parent who has set up a treasure hunt or an Easter egg hunt for their child. In these little eggs are great treasure, the "ah ha" moments, the revelations. New discoveries about God are in each egg. The parent lets their child wander around looking for the eggs by themselves for a while. The parent an see where they've hidden the eggs, but the child can't. So after a while the child becomes frustrated and asks for help. The parent then gently guides the child to the egg and the process may then be repeated. Sometimes the parent can only reveal one egg at a time before the child tries to do it on their own again, whereas other times the parent can reveal several eggs before the child goes off on their own.

This isn't a perfect analogy, but I think this is a good picture of God who, like the parent, wants to guide His chilren to these spiritual truths, these treasures. And sometimes we, like the child, try to insist on doing it our own way, but when we ask God for help we have much greater success.

I, for one, am so greatful that we have a God who does not allow Himself to be revealed all at once. I'm glad that I get to take this journey of discovery throughout my Christian life. It is God's job to hide certain matters from us like treasures on an Easter egg hunt and it is our job, with His guidance and at His time, to discover these matters, this treasure. It is like a life-long treasure hunt! What would happen to our lives spiritually if we looked at every moment we spent in God's Word as a treasure hunt?

Idols

You know, somehow I thought that once I gave up what I perceived to be the idol in my life, I would be all covered. I figured I would be fine when preachers talked about giving up idols. It's like "been there, done that" and check that off my list. I thought I was set. Well, guess what. God showed me the truth about idols.

Although it sometimes may be the case that new idols come into our lives, I think more often it's that God is gracious enough to let us deal with one thing at a time. Therefore, when one idol is taken care of, He reveals the next one to us. This new idol was lurking there all along, but we didn't see it when we were dealing with something else/another idol. I think the idols in our lives are like the layers of an onion. We have to peel back one layer at a time. I mean, can you imagine what would happen if we tried to peel all the layers of an onion at once? I think that as long as we live we will always have idols to deal with, and every time we give one up we just get that much closer to God. It's like peeling away those layers one at a time until we get to the center. Getting rid of idols is a life-long process.

In the past couple months I've given up two major idols in my life. It was not an easy process. I wrestled with God in both situations, but I knew that giving up that idol was the best thing for me. And when I did, I felt such relief! It's incredible how wonderful it is to give up our idols! Last night when thinking about it, I wanted to laugh out loud, just cry out for joy! It's a huge relief to let go. I feel like a burden has been lifted, like the pressure's off. What a beautiful release.

I know I'll still struggle. But God has been so very faithful. What an incredible journey! I'm so glad that God is interested in the journey, and not just the end result. Because if all you have to look to is the end result, it's going to be one long, tiresome journey and you're going to want to give up. But if you focus on the process, you can discover so many wonderful new things you never would have known otherwise!

The Liveliness of Being Lively

I feel so alive today! The weather is gorgeous, I feel well-rested, and I am simply enjoying life. I've been re-reading the Lord of the RIngs, so I feel as if any moment I could slip into an elven world of enchantment. Last night I was wishing that I could go walking barefoot in Lothlorien under a full moon. Oh what a grand thing life is! To breathe, to feel, to smell, to see! To smile at everyone and everything. I just want to dance! Unfortunately, I'm at work and in class all day. But in my head I'm dancing! Far away over mountains tall, I skim the surface of the seas. I flit in and out of light and shadows surround by majestic trees. I wish I were a bird to fly among the clouds and look down on this lovely land. To laugh, to dance, to fly, no, to soar! To climb, to win, to hear, to taste! Oh isn't it great to be alive!

A Trip Down Memory Lane- LWBC 2010

I've been so busy this summer, that it's been difficult to keep everyone up on the adventures I've had, so I thought I'd share a list of memories from the summer.
Learning kumcha and ninja the very first night of staff development week
The staff boat trips
The superhero themed parties during junior high weeks
An impromptu carnival to beat the rain
Coloring disney princess pictures with the girls in my cabin the very first night
Squishing all the staff members into one booth at Culvers (though we did add a small table)
Taking breaks in the office with other counselors during Voyager week 3
Girl time every Thursday
Sleeping in the air conditioned apartment every once in a while
The ME Bible study during staff development week
Dressing up in crazy costumes for the Mallards baseball game
Our day trip to Devil's Lake
Hang-outs at Leya's house
The night of Jesse and Jo's engagement
Worship nights
Watching movies with staff
Three tornado warnings and the ensuing preparations
The lice scare
Sitting at the top of the waterslide having milk and cookies while watching a lightning storm
Nuke-em
Setting off fireworks
Picnics in the park
Staff meetings
Going down the waterslide with a camper who was more relaxed then I was
Late-night conversations with the girls on staff
Walking down State Street
Going out to eat with the staff
Learning how to better do TAG and get closer to God

These are just a few of the precious moments of camp this summer.

Garden Fantasies

This afternoon I went to a botanical gardens with several friends, but spent much of the time exploring by myself. The enchanting cobblestone paths drew me into delightful corners of discovery. Giant pink flowers beckoned to me, but before reaching them I was sidetracked by a small grass path between two bushes. Following the path, I entered into a small clearing, which I named "the glen". I stumbled upon two rabbits who quickly skittered out of my way, and I gazed at the crystal wings of two dragonflies dancing on the wind. The clearing was bordered by luxurious firs and a variety of greenery. Lifting my face to the sky I spun in circles and danced with the Father. I met up with my friends for a while, and then was off again to secret enjoyments. Crossing a bridge, I saw an enchanting Thai pavilion across the river. I ran along the paths which led to it, passing several stone elephants on the way. I finally reached the red and gold pavilion and danced through it, lightly touching the intricately carved pillars. There were several pools of clear, crystal water, and I floated along on the edge of one, dancing again to my own tune. Another was so still I could clearly see my reflection in it. I found a path through the grass formed by several oblong stones, and I lightly skipped from one stone to the next until I completed the path. I continued exploring, sometimes alone sometimes with friends, and was continuously drawn down wooded paths and hidden escapes. My exploration only came to an end because of the late hour, but I think I can safely say that it was the most whimsically fun time I've ever had at a garden.

Realizations

I've grown so much at camp this summer. I realized that all the depression and feelings I had during the last school year had less to do with how other people actually treated me and more to do with how I actually perceived their treatment of me. Because I was not satisfied with myself and who I was, I thought that other people were not satisfied with me. I've been convicted of this attitude this summer. As I've come to find myself this summer, as I've given up my plans for my life at school and given in to God's, He's shown me just how much of my depression had to do with my own thoughts. I've been so closely connected to God and to people on fire for Him, that my own selfish thoughts and self-condemnation have become less and less. I still struggle with pride and low self-esteem, but because I have realized that those thoughts are completely the opposite of what is right, through God's grace I have found healing. Healing from myself. I know that there are several things I need to do when I get back to school: get connected with my mentor, become a mentor (because you learn through teaching others), become more plugged in with on fire Christians, and find more ways to serve God unselfishly. I think that perhaps giving up theater will allow me the time to do these things. I do not know what's in store, but God is working and moving in my life. I am not the same person who left Bethel this spring feeling defeated. Through God, I will conquer the feelings of unworthiness and will spring forth to do what He desires. Amen.

Continuations of the Summer

So much has happened during camp this summer, I do not even know where to begin. During the weeks we spend our time serving the campers in every way possible. It's been a challenging and humbling experience, whether I was cleaning up a slip 'n slide full of food slop or hosing down a giant inflatable Hulk. I've been involved in the worship team, I've helped run the skit and/or been in the skit, and I've worked on games, parties, banquets, etc. This past week I did not feel like I was as involved with the kids directly because I was so busy working on programming stuff. Because this was our first week of junior high camp lots of stuff had to be prepared for the first time.

On the weekends the staff just hang out. We go out to eat, watch movies, go on the speedboat, and recharge from the week. It's been a lot of fun and a great experience to hang out with such a close group. We've really become like a family, something I haven't experienced anywhere else. I truly consider every one of my fellow staffers as my brothers and sisters. I feel such a sense of belonging. I will be so sad to leave in four weeks.